Standard Operating Procedures

Section 1: Filling out forms

1. Step 1: Stare at the form for 5 minutes to comprehend its purpose
2. Step 2: Fill in all the boxes with 'N/A' to demonstrate your thoroughness
3. Step 3: Attach a strongly-worded letter explaining why you couldn't possibly fill it out correctly

See Also: Forms and Certificates

Section 2: Meeting Attendance Policy

1. Step 1: Arrive 30 minutes late, citing 'traffic' or 'car trouble'
2. Step 2: Apologize profusely, claiming you had a 'family emergency'
3. Step 3: Spend 20 minutes on your phone, ensuring you're not actually present

See Also: Policy and Guidelines

Section 3: Coffee Machine Malfunctioning

1. Step 1: Stare at the coffee machine for 5 minutes, willing it to work
2. Step 2: Fill out an incident report, detailing your extensive coffee needs
3. Step 3: Call for a 'code 3' to have someone else fix it, while you 'supervise'

See Also: Requests for Assistance

For more information, please refer to the Bureaucratic Bibliography